If someone tells you they’re hurt, it’s wrong to take it personally. When someone is hurt by what you’ve done, and they let you know it, you have one option to try and heal things. That ONLY option is to say you are sorry and ASK for their forgiveness. You may have to do this a few times and in different ways. Especially if the hurt you’ve caused is deep.
Yes, this means developing humility, swallowing pride, and simply saying those two dreadful words, “I’m sorry.”
Why does this appear to be so difficult for so many? Easy! The self-righteous NEVER feel they do anything wrong. People are constantly telling themselves they’ve done things “right,” and to admit you are sorry places you in the position of simply, “being wrong.” What’s wrong with being wrong? Nothing. It’s fine NOT to do things perfectly, as people really do have emotions. For those of you who relate to a computer screen for your entire day, night, and every other activity, you will have a fault–you are going to be inept with relationships. You are not dealing with REAL people in a REAL manner each day. A computer has no feelings. Yes, you can chat with friends, connect and keep in touch, but your daily interaction with people will be limited and since you can’t really see their expressions, other than if you’re Skyping, you have no idea whether your thoughts, actions, statements are REALLY affecting them.
In this age of technology, we have become closed off, self-righteous and afraid of interactions. REAL interactions. Not with strangers, but with people we know, that are family, and that are supposed to LOVE us!
If you can’t admit fault, say you are sorry for hurting someone, and move on and mend things, you’ll be constantly “in the dark.” You’ll be eternally “wondering” why no one OF QUALITY really wants to be around you. Go ahead, play the “victim” your whole life. That will get you NO WHERE. That creepy tape that plays over and over in your head telling you that everyone out to get you and “everyone’s being mean to me,” should’ve stopped in fourth grade.
Oh, and going to church every Sunday to feel better about how you hurt others, isn’t going to cut it. When you leave church and you’re STILL rotten to your own husband, mother, dad, best friend or whomever you’ve chosen to “punish” in your life, you are setting yourself up for failed relationships all around the clock. People are ADULTS and are not your children. You are not the boss of anyone.
When you start taking actions for your own relationships and begin to be healthy in your interactions with REAL PEOPLE–not a computer, you may see that you don’t feel as “disjointed” anymore. Conditions placed upon others never works. Saying you are sorry, truly BEING sorry, then being kind, welcoming, and thoughtful, mends things, and helps things move along in a positive direction.
The old adage from Love Story, “Love means You Never Have to Say You’re Sorry, ” makes no sense at all.
Yes you do.